Gawker readers of a certain age may fondly remember Four Loko*, the once popular malt liquor energy drink framed as a public menace and later banned by—who else—Obama. Many of those same readers will be surprised to learn the formerly verboten beverage continues to be manufactured, albeit in a neutered, caffeine-free (but still devastatingly alcoholic) form.

So the Internet reacted with an understandable mix of joy and fear last week when Twitter's @Things4WhitePpl posted this photo, depicting a new, even more sorority-friendly version of the notorious brew. The picture was soon picked up by a number of media outlets, including Complex, Elite Daily and Bay Area CBS affiliate KITS-FM, who ran the image with the headline "Pumpkin Spice Flavored Four Loko On The Way."

Unfortunately for fans of peaceful, leaf-lined forest walks and puking, the drink is nothing but a golden-hued fantasy. "Pumpkin Spice Four Loko is a parody flavor... for now!" a company spokesperson told Gawker, implicitly threatening to call the pumpkin-loving public on its bluff.

Drinkers seeking autumn-themed libations still have plenty of options, though, including hard cider, hot toddies and that most classic fall cocktail, whatever you usually drink but slightly colder.

*Full disclosure: In college, the author of this post drank so much Four Loko (and, to a lesser extent, Joose) it literally gave him a peptic ulcer.

[Image via Facebook]


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