Miley Cyrus Takes Three Days Off Internet, Fueling Death Rumors

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Hudson Hongo

07/22/14 02:20PM

Filed to: death hoaxes

If you're not on Instagram, do you even really exist? That's the existential dilemma Miley Cyrus fans wrestled with this weekend after the pop star took an almost 90-hour break from posting dirty feet pics and dildo reviews. The uncharacteristic social media silence seemed to confirm a laughably fake survey scam reporting Cyrus' death, flooding the Internet with much emoji weeping and gnashing of teeth.

OHH NO MILEY'S DEAD 😱😱😱 pic.twitter.com/a2Nsz5k69P
— mason (@mileysglam) July 19, 2014

MILEY CYRUS DIED TODAY HOLY FUCK
— Ayonna (@JasminePrimus) July 20, 2014

Omg rip miley Cyrus 😫😫😫
— BigAj & LittleNaee (@___FeelinMySelf) July 20, 2014

Thankfully, on Monday night the singer finally reaffirmed her ability to maintain homeostasis, uploading a picture of herself flashing the desert because, hey, why not?

For some fans, however, this chesty resolution was still somewhat less than satisfying.

CAN EVERYONE PLEASE STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT MILEY IS DEAD. BEFORE I HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK THANK YOU STOP
— haidi (@xhaidix) July 21, 2014

[ Image via HitFix]

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

1

Arctic16 Hudson Hongo 07/22/14 03:25PM

Your first line holds very true for many people. I do not have instagram, and I was treated like a leper at a recent wedding I attended. Apparently I'm lame.

cluedont Arctic16 07/22/14 03:36PM

Duh.

stacyinbean Arctic16 07/22/14 03:40PM

Instagram is the only "internets" I truly enjoy. Pictures of all my favorite things, kids, crafts, vacations and food!

JRu stacyinbean 07/22/14 03:48PM

Whose pictures do you look at? Cause I share those pics on Facebook. Or do you follow famous people?

Arctic16 JRu 07/22/14 03:50PM

Yeah, I thought that's what facebook was for?

18

TaintedxxBright Hudson Hongo 07/22/14 03:03PM

Guess I have to cancel the huge party I was planning. Shucks and I already ordered the cow tounges!!!!! boooo!!

1

TheGrandVisor TaintedxxBright 07/22/14 03:28PM

Tongue is soooooooooo good. Make sure you fucking scrub that shit shit though.

4

Challahback TaintedxxBright 07/22/14 03:40PM

I like her though. She's nothing like Bieber. I have a party planner on retainer for his death.

Arctic16 TaintedxxBright 07/22/14 03:50PM

Tongue is amazing. I whip up a pretty mean tongue taco, not gonna lie (preferably bison).

7

GloryHoleHustler TaintedxxBright 07/22/14 03:55PM

Can I ask why the animosity towards her? She's put out a solidly good pop album, gone on a very entertaining tour that's a lot of fun, she's good to her fans (always telling them to be themselves and that it's ok to be different and unique as long they are comfortable with who they are), you never see her stumbling out of clubs, doing hard drugs, or getting into trouble with the law or partaking in vandalism or abuse of power (like Justin Bieber).

In fact, for the most part, her Instagram consists of her doing arts and crafts at home with friends, her dog, and her sister when she isn't touring or working. So why all the hate? Because she's a young woman who likes sticking her tongue out on stage or because you simply choose to follow the lead of other haters without really knowing much about her? Serious question.

5

Cam/ron Hudson Hongo 07/22/14 03:31PM

Ah, the wonderful things we were promised about the Internet's citizen empowerment back in the 90's.

4

MonaAamonsMonzano Hudson Hongo 07/22/14 03:29PM

Can someone explain to me why Gawker insists on covering every breath this gross little bitch takes?

4

wadeinthewater MonaAamonsMonzano 07/22/14 05:54PM

Something about we should all like her because she's herself and the voice of a generation and edgy or whatever. Idk, everytime I read the comments on Miley its like a low key shame fest for those of us who don't like her. I don't like her music and I think she's trashy, I feel like it's my right to feel this way.

2

MonaAamonsMonzano wadeinthewater 07/22/14 05:57PM

I saw your first sentence and mentally composed a whole rant back to you before the rest loaded. I'm so sick of people confusing "being yourself" with "being trashy and desperate for attention." Her music is garbage and she doesn't act much better. And you're correct, it is your right to have decent taste.

2

wadeinthewater MonaAamonsMonzano 07/22/14 06:01PM

I just get the feeling Gawker and Jez (or at least a couple of commenters) are trying to make the rest of us feel guilty for not liking Miley, because if you don't then you're a pretentious asshole and she's just being Miley so back off...and like her...stop being a hater! It's a little creep.

2

RVAFTW MonaAamonsMonzano 07/22/14 06:40PM

While I agree that her music sucks, I gotta hand it to the bitch, she's brilliant. She had all but slid back into obscurity and then the VMAs happened. Next thing you know she's the talk of the town...right before her new album dropped. and as they say bad press is still press.