In 2014, there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and plausible but fake Internet garbage. A recent viral video of a bird pooping on Russian President Vladimir Putin falls into that last category, seemingly too mundane to even be worth faking.
And yet here we are.
This weekend, the video
hit Reddit (the primary source of web journalists worldwide), resulting in write-ups from Vox, The Washington Post and Timeon Monday. Incredibly, it wasn't until serial up-fuckers The Independent got on the case that someone finally challenged the video's authenticity, linking to clips of both the original, sadly poop-less video and a side-by-side comparison revealing the fakery.
Afterwards, all three publications acknowledged their error and issued corrections.
The Post's was by far the funniest, with the article now titled "Vladimir Putin gives speech on dangers of military aggression" bearing the caveat "Correction: A bird did not defecate on Russian President Vladimir Putin during a speech on Friday."
Of course, all parties really should have known better, Putin being a famous bird ally with an active role in the avian independence movement.
[
Image via Imgur]
Antiviral is a new blog devoted to debunking fake news, online hoaxes and viral garbage. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter and send your tips to hudson.hongo@gawker.com.
The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.
28
Really? Yikes
Hudson Hongo
Isn't that what happened to Gorbachev too? If I remember correctly, Gorby's bird had IBS.
1
unfortunatelylostburner
Really? Yikes
I've always wondered how awkward it must have been to be working with Gorbachev as he started losing his hair and have to see that mark peaking out.
Once he's bald he can fly it loud and proud. But halfway in between just seems uncomfortable for everyone involved.
16
Really? Yikes
unfortunatelylostburner
It always reminded me of Wyoming. I don't know why, but it did.
5
unfortunatelylostburner
Really? Yikes
To me it looks like Florida.
14
Really? Yikes
unfortunatelylostburner
Sorry James, I just don't see it.
3
GalFromIpanema(formerlyBrooklyn)
Hudson Hongo
If this was wimpy Obummer, the bird would have fucked him in the ass. This is because Obongo is a pussy.
Putin is truly a man's man. That is why the bird did not shit on him.
4
TrueVCU
GalFromIpanema(formerlyBrooklyn)
I hate that the state of the conversation in this country has degraded so much that I can't even tell if you're joking or a genuine troll :/
2
El_Godinez
TrueVCU
Troll...He/She/It used to at least try to be clever... now it's just sad.
Hilarious — and by that I mean something Alec Baldwin's wife would probably do for attention.
1
Duffin
TrueVCU
Yeah, I hear ya. I mean, I'm all for snark and everything, but there comes a point where the "funny" stops adding anything to the conversation and only serves to tricks idiots into thinking someone else believes what they believe as well, you know?
1
juansmith
Hudson Hongo
If you'd like to hear a story that's not bullshit, I can promise you, this is 100% true.
Several years ago, I was on a date with a Russian girl named Ksenia while studying in Moscow. Her English was impeccable (we actually met in an ESL-teaching program), and we decided to go for a wander down by the river near the Olympic Stadium (pictured below).
So we're walking and chatting and generally having a good time, when all of a sudden, a bird shits on my head. Like...right on the top. Big wet splash. And at this time, there was not a cloud in the sky, so I knew exactly what had happened.
But something amazing happened... At that exact moment, we were moving sideways to let another couple walk by, and Ksenia was walking a few feet ahead of me. She hadn't seen (or heard) the horrible splat that had echoed through my skull.
This girl was easily a head shorter than me, and we were meandering our way back toward a fancy-ish restaurant that we had passed on the way in, and had talked about maybe stepping into on the way back. So I thought, maybe, just maybe, we can get into this restaurant... And perhaps, just perhaps, it will be one of the very few restaurants that I've seen in Russia that actually has paper towels (far more common: forced air hand dryers, or...nothing).
So we get there, and we're still talking, and I'm suppressing a light twinge of nervousness that's starting to present in my voice, as I suggest... "How about we head in there for dinner?"
Ksenia says, "Sure!". We make it to within 20 feet of the door, and I think we're home free. Then she decides she wants to stop for a smoke before we go in. We face each other head on as she lights up a cigarette, takes one long drag, and without missing a beat, looks me square in the eye and says... "By the way, you've got bird shit on your jacket."
With the bulk of my horrible plan foiled, I still managed to avoid mentioning that there was also a rancid, semi-firm dollop at the crest of my hair - she apparently hadn't seen that one. But I had managed to miss a long chalky drip down the front of my jacket.
Oh, I should also mention - at this point in my life, I thought it was okay for me to wear a leather jacket. It wasn't, but it was what made the rest of this story workable.
So at this point, she pulls a napkin from her purse, pulls aside the cigarette to spit into it, and starts aggressively wiping down the front of my jacket.
"Be cool," she says, "We'll have to make you presentable if we're going to get into this place."
We went in, and I managed to clean up in the bathroom without incident. Until the bill came, I found out they didn't take credit cards, and I had to leave her there as a hostage while I took the train two more stops to get to the nearest ATM. But that's another story.
Duffin
juansmith
First time I've ever been sincere when saying "Cool Story, Bro!"
TamsynGebrs
Hudson Hongo
last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My neighbour's sister has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is what I do,,,,,,,,,,
www.bayspay.com
1
Robbiev6
TamsynGebrs
I hope a bird shits in your mouth. A big bird, too, like a Canada goose or an albatross.
