"Wouldn't it be crazy if [TV show I watch] were real?" That's the thought that had Showtime subscribers losing their shit this week after an article came out about 17 dismembered bodies being found in the Ohio River near Henderson, Ky. According to the report, the victims were wrapped in individual plastic bags and some had "extensive criminal records," causing police to speculate the murders were possibly "inspired by the television series Dexter."

Solidifying their status as the very worst "satire" site on the Internet, the fake and bad National Report decided to capitalize on a full-fledged humanitarian crisis on Saturday, publishing an article titled "CDC Investigates Mystery Illness Spreading Through Border Towns." As described in the story, the immigrant-carried outbreak has caused victims in Texas to regress to a "primitive brain state" becoming "very hostile and territorial, almost like feral dogs." By Monday, the vague parody of xenophobic hysteria had completely succeeded, but only at drumming up further xenophobic hysteria:

Radio stations across the country hit sweet, psycho ex-girlfriend paydirt last week when they dug up this article about "the most extreme case of stalking ever recorded in the history of the country." According to the story, one Linda Murphy was arrested in New Mexico after calling her ex-boyfriend 77,639 times in one week. "Can you imagine all the energy drinks she must have consumed to have all those sleepless nights?!" asked San Francisco's 99.7 NOW, failing to first ask if the totally bogus article was fake.

Like so many improperly-stored, bigoted fireworks, anti-Islamic outrage exploded this week on Twitter after troll news site National Report published an article claiming President Obama would spend the 4th of July meeting with Muslim leaders at a D.C-area mosque.

Good news, Ser Jorahs of the world: Your beloved Khaleesi isn't going anywhere. Game of Thrones fans started freaking out late last week over rumors that Emilia Clarke would not be returning to the show next season, but HBO has issued a complete denial on the matter.

With seemingly dozens of new hoax news sites popping up every day, it can be hard to keep track of the current crop of garbage "satire" outlets. So it's understandable if you've never heard of Wyoming Institute of Technology, who published a story last week claiming linguists at Bob Jones University had decoded DNA sequences into bible verses.

Last week, garbage "satire" site National Report published an article claiming August to be "International Muslim Awareness Month" by presidential proclamation. Of course, no such declaration exists and the story was easily debunked, but patriots from across the Islamophobosphere donned their tricorn hats to denounce Obama anyway, even after being told the report was false.

If you were on Facebook this week, there's a good chance you saw a shocking, totally not fake-sounding article that claimed an ailing Charles Manson is being paroled. Unfortunately for fans of race war-inspired folk music, that story is bogus.